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Things to do on the beach, bitch! (just joking, no dogs allowed)

Ok, we are not going to explain what is a beach. If you don’t know, skip this post, you freak of nature! Yes, that’s the point: everybody knows and loves a beach, even if it’s only by seeing pics.

Sand, sun, salty water, sun, that game with no point that consist in avoiding the little red ball to touch the sand just like it contained the cure of a deadly disease, sand, crunchy sandwiches ( of course, because of sand), sun… Actually, I’ve been suggested to mention only things a 5yo child can enjoy in the beach… so, picture yourself the full canvas.

At this point we have some clarifications to do:

a) for the northern travellers: You don’t have to care about sharp icebergs or hypothermia.

b) for the southern travellers: There are no wild carnivorous species stalking under the surface.

This means that you can get into the water safely, just like the rest. Hey! Just like that old man there! Anyway, if you have walked so far, walk just a little bit more and it’s done. That’s the first thing you can do in a beach: take a bath.

The rest of things implies that you are wet or covered in an annoying layer of tiny crystals of salt. It’s the same water or salt, those bastards are going to boost the next step: a session of tanning. WARNING: be truthful to your skin: if you are pale enough you are going to sunburn and going to have a hell of a night. I’ve seen ghostly pale people burn like paper (or a vampire) over a beach towel.

If everything is going just like I’ve depicted, you are laying on your back on a beach towel feeling how your skin dries (if you listen carefully you can hear the pain scream of your cells) a toast. The third thing you can do (and must) is to say “NO” to the beer guy who's selling you "cerveza-beer un euro" hopefully just for the tenth time. They play a common strategy, very popular in discos and pubs, that consists in asking once and once again entirely, and only stopping when the answer is “yes”.

One last advice, NEVER leave your belongings alone. I know, it’s tempting to take a walk, but be careful, and come on, this beach is full of people, you can for sure find someone trustable to keep an eye on them (I highly recommend mums with a lot of children, they just can’t run away, even if they want to).


PS: That means we are going to post a lot of unknown, original and beautiful beaches in Catalonia (yes, like the one in the picture), so… stay tuned!

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